Album: In the Family Way – Artist: The Kipper Family

I got married yesterday to Miss Christina Chad
A virgin fair or at least that’s what I reckoned
Though later she admitted that I’m not the first she’s had
And truth to tell, well neither am I second
But she’s been married seven times and each time she’s been true
So when I heard the wedding chimes and claimed my bride I knew
That my darling Christine would have been entirely pristine
If it wasn’t for the spouses in between

Now just the other week I had to go up north
To visit some poor relatives up there
Though normally I avoid the area of course
For I find their funny accents such a wear
But when you get to know ’em they’re really not that bad
With someone posh to show ’em some improvement might be had
In Cheshire and in Lytham, you might do something with ’em
If it wasn’t for the scousers in between

Now a chap must keep in shape if he’s going to cut a dash
And I’m a real dash cutter you can tell
You have to watch your weight if you’re going to cut a dash
A swell just cannot afford to swell
But some parts of a person are not so easily seen
The parts a person perches on if you see what I mean
But with a pair of looking glasses you could see just where your arse is
If it wasn’t for the trousers in between

Am I boring you?

(Nov 5, 2014) Dave Harbord said: Absolutely brilliant. I heard it sung the other night at Sharps folk club in Cecil Sharp House by a lovely gent called John White. Brought the house down.